We often don't say what we mean for a number of reasons. We try to be politically correct. We learn this at such a young age. Funny how we teach our kids to be truthful but teach them to smooth things that they say over. I remember my daughter telling me that things tasted bad when she was two or three years of age. My husband used to be horrified and tell her not to say things like that. She, of course, would return the favor by saying "But it's the truth!" I laugh at it now but my feelings were hurt at the time. It does, however, make you stop and think about what you are saying, doesn't it? "Tell the truth... unless it'll hurt someones feelings"... does a "white lie" make things right? How old is the question "honey do these pants make my butt look big?" I'm pretty sure that men are taught from the moment they are born to say "No dear - you look great!" See! Usually another "white lie"!
What about the politicians? White lie city. I don't even want to think about all the commercials that will be starting up again soon on the television. The thought makes me cringe. The twist their words to make just enough of what they are saying be the truth. I have a friend (who will probably read this and laugh) who knows how to say just enough of a story to make himself be truthful and honest. I call it half truths. I can usually tell when he thinks he's talking to the average person and call him on it by saying "ok now tell me the rest of the story". Politicians are the same way.
What about the times we tell people that it's ok that they just insulted you? Words come out of peoples mouths before they realize it and when they see the hurt look on your face, apologize. In return, we say to them, "Oh hun ,it's ok - I know you didn't mean it". Why do we give people free passes to hurt people? Why can't we say in return what we think about their comment? Are we scared to be honest back to people? They didn't think twice when that comment blurted out of their mouth. Address what they just said and bring it to the table with you. Often, things said by people stems from rumors they heard from other people. We often walk away from those conversations wondering exactly what they heard from someone and who that someone was. Wouldn't it be refreshing if we stopped and said something like... "I can see how you might be concerned about that issue, but let me tell you the truth so we can dispel this incorrect information."? It can take courage to do that, but wouldn't you walk away from that person knowing that you said your peace? Usually people say that if you defend yourself too much, people think you are covering things up. Sometimes that is true. It's hard to just keep your mouth shut. Occasionally, though, it just feels good to set things straight for yourself.
It's a fine line between those "white lies", political correctness and being polite. If you speak your mind too much, you are thought of as vulgar, or creating drama. If you are too quiet, you are a pushover. This thought is making me think about the lessons we have learned along the way - like I mentioned earlier - "the truth is necessary unless ......" It's that grey area that confuses kids. Those kids grow into future adults.
Christmas is coming. Last year, my daughter called me out on the Santa issue. I'll be careful what I say here - but we'll just say... I was called a liar by her last year. Again - those white lies surface and bite you in the butt!
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