I got FIRED. Yep. Fired. Hence, the reason for this blog to begin with. Fired. I've had my share of jobs in my life - all custom tailored around myself the last thirteen years to work around me being home for my daughter. But each one I left on my own terms. I haven't had too many the last thirteen years though as I've mostly been self employed. When I decided to go back to work this year, it was a big decision for me. I'd arranged a job with an European shoe company that I felt would do well in the US market.
I quickly got to work learning about shoes. How would this European urban shoe fit in here? What buyers should I contact? What magazines and papers need to know they exist? I got started on a press release and quickly got it out to about fifty newspapers and magazines. I started calling around to places like Nordstroms, Macys, and other department stores that I thought might be a fit. I was on top of the world. I loved what I was doing.
Last winter was a tough one - we had incredible snow storms and ice and such across America - traveling was difficult to say the least but once spring came, the skies were looking clearer and so were the possibilities of getting out and selling more. A trip to New York City ensued. Meetings with buyers was a new experience and quickly learned you have to think quick and have a backbone and stand up for what you believe in. Buyers can let you feel very small if you let them.
So, here I am, learning about the shoe industry - something I had never been involved in before. What I didn't realize was that I also had to learn to deal with the company I worked for too. Keep in mind, I have worked for large corporate companies as well as small "mom and pop" companies. This time it was different though. They spoke English, yes, but their natural language was Portuguese. I quickly realized that when I was speaking to them on the telephone, I had to stay very focused and listen very closely. Many times I hung up the phone feeling like I only understood a fraction of the words spoken to me. I hoped I had heard the important words and often sent an email to my boss for clarification of our conversation just to make sure I was correct.
Summer comes along and things are moving forward. People are starting to look at the collection, which by the way, are starting to get better design wise. Amazon.com and I are speaking frequently about the collection. Magazines are starting to publish my press release. I'm getting excited at this point, right?
I wake one morning and my uncanny sixth sense tells me to read email immediately. It's 5:00 am my time - 10:00 am in Portugal. Those days I woke up earlier so I could work on their time as well. I grab my cell phone, which is never far from my reach, and there's an email from my boss asking me to come to Portugal. I'm ecstatic at the thought and get to work on the details. They were releasing the new line and wanted all the agents to come see it, put in input, etc. I knew I was going to be tested. I was extremely nervous.
Long story short - the trip went okay but I got back early Monday morning and by Tuesday morning I was FIRED! Apparently, the trip didn't go as well as I had thought. I was devastated. People that haven't been fired abruptly have no idea how this feels. Neither did I at the time. When you hate your job, you mentally prepare yourself that if you got fired tomorrow, it'd be okay because you hated it anyhow. You often have a backup plan (and if you don't - make one!!!). I didn't hate my job nor did I have a back up plan. It was a huge smack in the face. Things were just starting to roll and I got punked. It sent me into a huge depression this summer which was really hard for me to dig out of. I took the summer off of work to spend time with my daughter and think about my next step in life. (Hence this blog!!!)
It's November now. I look back and think of last January as a long time ago. The snow on the ground is a far distant memory but know it's coming back again. Sadly. Why haven't I moved to a warmer climate? Even the UK has less snow than Ohio!
A lot has happened in this year. I've loved, I've lost, I've learned. I've become more determined. I've found my footing again and am making strides to move forward and learn from the past and to see the future with clear lenses and not rose colored ones. (How cliche' .. hmmmm). I want to say "it took me fired to make me realize...." but I just can't. I want to say it made me a stronger person. Time will tell. But here I am again - with my heart and mind in my hand - willing to move forward and try to live life again. Every day, I am finding my way more and more. Hopefully soon, it will be very evident what the universe has intended for me to be when I "grow up".
Peace ~ Love ~ Happiness
Marianne
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